September 6, 2009

High school girls gone Lolita (?) at Walnut Creek car wash


Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.


--Vladimir Nabokov's famous opening lines to Lolita, his brillliant but controversial novel about an aging man's love for a certain nymphet.


Teenage girls in string tops and "tight cheekless" shorts, waving signs, inviting motorists passing through the Ygnacio Valley Road and Civic Drive intersection to come into one of the gas stations to get their cars washed.

It was all to support their high school fundraiser Saturday. (A friend, who witnesses this scene said they were from Northgate High.) You see these fundraisers for different school groups all the time at the gas stations at this intersection.

This is scene Saturday witnessed and described not just by my friend but by blogger Mister Writer. You can read more details about what he saw and comments about the scene at his website.

We have a weird thing going on with our culture. On one hand, and in the worst-case scenario, we're horrified by men like Phillip Craig Garrido who view pre-teen and teen girls as potential sex slaves to be kidnapped, abused, and raped. In a not-so-worst case scenario, we don't want our pre-teen or teen-age daughters to become sexual, certainly before they are emotionally ready.

But then, fashion and culture dictate and some parents allow their pre-teen and teen daughters to go out in public, including to school, in tight underwear-like tops that accentuate breasts and expose midriffs and in short shorts and short skirts that show butt cracks, cheeks, and thighs.

These outfits basically say f---- me.

Do you think girls who are wearing these clothes are doing so out of their own emerging sense of power, sexual or otherwise? I doubt it. Most girls are naturally modest and can be a bit mixed up. On one hand, they are probably trying to adjust to the changes in their bodies--breasts, periods, etc.--that signal that, biologically, they are ready to have sex and have babies. They feel weird about it and are just trying to get comfortable in their own skin. At the same time, they are curious about falling in love and what having sex is like.

Many also care about trying to please and--unless they're gay--to win the attention of boys. So, some girls will go out of their way to dress like Brittney and other nymphet heroines of pop culture. They think that's what's expected of them to be seen as attractive and desirable.

Bottom line: I doubt very much that the girls at this carwash were dressed, as Mister Writer described, in order to exert their personal sense of power and individuality. They were trying to fit into some socially prescribed idea of what girls should do to get attention--whether it's from males, whom they want for boyfriends--or from motorists, whom they want to sell their fundraising carwash services.

I don't have a daughter. If I did, I'd like to think I would not let her out of the house or go out in public in the way Mister Writer described. Not because I'm a prude, but because I'd want to to grow up with more self-respect.

48 comments:

Anonymous said...

I saw this yesterday too and was appalled. What high school was it?

Anonymous said...

I saw it, it was Hot.

jgolds said...

Best opening lines of any novel ever.

Anonymous said...

I largely agree with Soccer Mom. The flip side of this problem, for those of us with boys, is teaching them to treat girls with respect when their hormone-addled brains are confronted with this sort of thing.

My boy is 11 so the girls he thinks are cool now are the ones who can kick a soccer ball or who have a killer backstroke. Not sure how much longer it will be before he's smitten by a vapid Brittany clone.

Soccer Mom said...

It appears to be Northgate High.

An email from a friend:
"I was just coming back from Countrywood Shopping Center and when I got to the red light at Ygancio and Civic I noticed this a Northgate High School cheerleader with NHS painted on her bare stomach above the bellybutton ring and she's wearing a tiny, tiny, tiny string-bikini top. I thought "Jeez, that's a little tart-ish and then I thought -- my, my, my...I'm sure getting old."

I don't think my friend is getting old. She's just wondering, like me, what are these girls saying about themselves?

And, Mister Writer says, he saw some adults there. Parents? Did they allow this?

I remember visiting an area high school, down in Pleasanton, meeting with the vice principal. We were strolling down the hall, and a female student approached the vice principal (also a female). The girl was wearing a spaghetti strap, tank top, hugging that bustline, with her bra straps showing, and her belly visible.

The vice principal said she had to either cover up or go home. I thought, good for that vice principal.

Soccer Mom said...

Yes JGolds.

Best opening lines of a novel ever. It was singing in my head as I thought of writing this post. Funny, how much I still remember of it. And the rest of the novel--well--it ain't that bad either. In fact, I think I spent an entire Sunday curled up in bed reading it.

Anonymous said...

Believe it or not, it's even an effort to try and find non tart-like outfits for a 5 1/2 year old that happens to be tall. Go to the 4-6x area of a certain department store and you'll swear they're trying to outfit future strippers. It's sad. As Soccer Mom said, it's up to mom and dad to teach self-respect first and foremost. Just because kids want to grow up fast doesn't mean they need to.

Mike Mueller said...

I can speak from first hand experience about these car wash fundraising events. The Ygnacio Valley Instrumental Music Boosters (a 501(c)3 organization) held a series of these over the summer.

We, as a group, had specific guidelines as to what the kids should wear and how they should act. We always had a supervising parent present.

As far as I know neither the School or the School District had any knowledge or oversight on what we did and how we did it. I'm guessing the same was true for this carwash.

In the one event that I supervised I had an extended conversation with a family who thanked me for how our kids were dressed and how respectful they were.

I'll post the same comment over at Mr Writer

Anna, The Lemon Lady said...

Hi Soccer Mom,

They were out there today too! :(

I saw them around noon on my drive down YVR to the Sunday Walnut Creek Farmers' Market on Locust.

The young girl standing on the corner, had a string bikini and painted letters on her bare abdomen.

I'm glad to see you writing about it too. I just cannot believe they were out two days in a row. Shaking my head in disbelief.

Anonymous said...

Any sensible parent would not allow this. What about the male organizers of this event? Where were the young girls fathers?

This should make local news besides Mister Writer and Soccer Mom. This is way too sick to allow weekend after weekend. Where were the dress codes?

MickeyMartin said...

SOOOOOOO glad i have 2 boys. Not that i won't have trouble keeping them from chasing these girls, but I would not be having any of the wanna-be-stripper apparel I see youngins wearing. If a girl wants to go wild after they are 18 good for them, but IMO girls face a real catch 22 in the world as how to stay pure while the media, style, and societal norms all say slutty is desirable. Like I said, glad I have boys.

Soccer Mom said...

Hi Mike,
Thanks for sharing your input about these carwashing events.

I see these events going on practically every weekend. At most I see teens, male and female, out there with signs, smiling and waving at motorists to pull in and get their cars washed. It's fun, friendly, and it's great to see their enthusiasm. And, no, I've never seen any girls out, dressed like they could belong in an Internet erotic services ad.

Mister Writer personally witnessed the scene, and so have writers who have commented on his site, and on my mine, and friends who have emailed me. The friends I've heard from are, like me, not prudes. Just other adult women--professional women, moms--who wish girls didn't think they need to sink to the Britney Spears level to get attention. Hmm, what will be next? Girls going panty-free and flashing for motorists, a la Britney, Lindsay, and other pathologically attention-seeking pop tarlets?

(And you guys, who find this image enticing? There are plenty of other sites you can visit and do you know what to.)

If nothing else, the girls in this group hurt their cause. And any adults involved did the organization and these young women a disservice by not telling them to knock it off.

Anna, The Lemon Lady said...

Soccer Mom,
You obviously have a great network of reliable reporters. What I witnessed is exactly as Mister Writer described it.

I was hesitant to take a photo, because I figured they were underaged also. I'm sure someone must have shot a few photos of it. The fact that people are talking has certianly validated what a scene it was.

I'd love to hear what the organizers where thinking? Just doesn't sound appropriate - nor did I think it was appropriate when I witnessed it on the corner, practically "in my face" while my car was stopped at the red light. They were also at the median section where the cars stop at the light.

Anonymous said...

Come on Soccer Mom you are just making this up. There can't be anything wrong teaching our young girls that their path to success in life is being eye candy. As long as we protect them from being indoctrinated by this scary black guy who calls himself POTUS even though we are not really sue that he is even an American with his socialist ideas of doing well in school setting goals and working hard to reach them

Anonymous said...

We were saying the same about the bikini.

Modern Girl magazine wrote in 1957, "It is hardly necessary to waste words over the so-called bikini since it is inconceivable that any girl with tact and decency would ever wear such a thing."

Anonymous said...

10:50,

You forgot to add that the illegitimately-elected, Black POTUS is also an Afro-Leninist.

Dan Simoes said...

Assuming it's the same girls I saw Saturday, it was the Northgate Cheerleaders. I remember thinking to myself how it would be funny if they advertised a "bikini carwash" and then pulled a bait and switch. I was not on that side of the road, so I saw bikinis but didn't see anything "shocking" to the degree described. I agree that I was a bit surprised at the bikini top wearing sign holders on the sidewalk though.
Think we're a bunch of prudes? Here's a blueprint for the event (slightly NSFW): http://www.holytaco.com/anatomy-bikini-carwash

Anonymous said...

Anon 9:27 based on what? Bailing out banks? You know just because you call him an Afro-Leninist doesn't make him one. But it shows that you are good at repeating the stuff you hear on Beck/Limbaugh/Savage. .... maybe you want to reconsider that indocrination thing again. But then I assume you simply lack the intellectual power to do so.

Soccer Mom said...

Dan,
Wow, I didn't think that the this carwash, by the Northgate cheerleaders you say, might be part of a trend. Thanks for enlightening us. And that guide to Bikini Car Wash. Well, of course, it is in questionable taste. But it's hilarious and pretty right on. Thanks for sharing it with us.
http://www.holytaco.com/anatomy-bikini-carwash

Anonymous said...

They were dressed extremely inappropriately. I saw two or three of them draped over the hood of a car with their asses hanging out of their shorts. I have three daughters. My wife asked me what I thought of it as we sat at the intersection. I said I would be extremely pissed off and my girls would be out of that organization immediately.

It was extremely poor judgement on the part of the parent supervising this event. I feel badly for the parents of the children and the children themselves.

Anonymous said...

To those beautiful young women (girls)in binkinis at the carwash, there are two things that your mothers have not taught you: 1) You've come a long way - and don't have prostitute yourself for anyone (or any fundraiser). 2) NO, you won't be respected in the morning!

Anonymous said...

It was Northgate, and they were cheerleaders - what exactly were you expecting? Modesty?

Ever watch "professional (basketball or footbal)cheerleaders"? Minimal clothes and provocative moves. Yep the "adults" of the world are once again setting great examples and expectations.

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Anonymous said...

Bring out the 6pack showing guys for you all ladies to look at.

Anonymous said...

Number one, I also saw the car wash driving by both days and did not see any string bikinis they had bathing suit binki tops on and cheer athletic shorts just as they wear and most sports do when they practice. Its just the same they would wear to a beach. I think you all need to worry about your own kids and not judge overly harsh their kids it was hot they washed cars to raise money for their self funded sport. GET A LIFE PEOPLE Theres way worse people dressed out there then this.

Soccer Mom said...

Dear September 9, 2009 2:46 PM,
Sounds like you saw one thing and other readers saw something else. Or maybe other readers were passing by at different times than you were and saw different girls in different outfits.

Anonymous said...

Soccer Mom,

I find it rather hypocritical that you criticize these girls for dressing like "Britney and other nymphets heroines" and using their bodies for male attention when you yourself post a picture of Victoria Beckham as your profile photo. A woman who (for the record, I am very much a fan of Ms. Beckham) in this particular photo is still sporting her DD breast implants, and for the most part has made her living off of being beautiful. How can you expect young teenage girls to have realistic attitudes about their bodies and how to get male attention when instead of showing a picture of the more realistic, typical soccer mom, you use a photo of one of the most glamourous, fake bodied one there is?

Nicole Carvalho said...

EXCUSE ME!

I am one of the Northgate cheerleaders that participated on both 09/05/09 and 09/06/09. And I find it to be quite disturbing and extremely rude with the way you are all putting us down. We are apart of your community. And in no what what-so-ever did we go out there thinking that we wanted to dress inappropriately. We absolutely had no intentions of getting this kind of feed back from the community. But first of all, I would like to get a few things straight here. The picture that is shown on the link for more information on our car wash, IS ABSOLUTLY FALSE INFORMATION. We were simply wearing a bikini top with shorts. And for you to all be saying that it was inappropriate, then in my opinion are disrespecting our coaches. Do you all really think that our coaches would really let us go out on the street wearing shorts that showed our “butt cracks” and “cheeks”? If you all really think that, then maybe you should have been a little but more mature and spoke to our coaches about how you or the people with you were offended by our choice of clothing rather than over the internet. Blogging about us. And to be quite honest, yes I could agree with you. Our bikini tops could be considered inappropriate. But on the other hand, we most certainly did not, “push our breasts at the traffic”. Nor did we wear “pants that barley covered our a***s”. And you could have easily, politely said to our coaches, “excuse me, “As I was driving by the girls on the street and at the car wash, I couldn’t help but notice that what they are wearing is a little inappropriate. Do you think it would be alright if they could please put some more clothes on? Thank you, I really appreciate it.”. That would have been so easy for you all to do. And then this entire blogging session would not be going on right now. But then again, I have something for you to all ponder. Did you expect for us to wear jeans to a car wash? In the hot sun? I don’t think so. I mean come on you guys. Obviously we would wear shorts. And as for all of you that really think it was that awful; how about you consider what the Northgate water polo team was wearing huh? Yeah that’s right, they were wearing their speedo’s. So if you all really have a problem with cheerleaders wearing bikini’s and shorts, then I would really like for you all to say something to the water polo team before you EVER start accusing us of something that is un-true.

SERIOUSLY?? said...

HEY IDIOTS!!! it was a car wash they were in bathing suits because they were getting wet
northgate water polo did a car wash in their speedos come on

Anonymous said...

Northgate students are about the dumbest of the dumb. They should probably all start sending in the applications to ditch digging school.

-Mt D parent

Anonymous said...

Aren't there more important things to discuss in Walnut Creek? How about how bad the teaching has become at Northgate? Healthcare anyone?

So it is wrong for a 14-17 year old girl to wear a bikini top at a car wash where they are actually working to raise money, but it is ok for a mature women to go to a soccer game dressed like a hooker (sorry soccer mom, you may look good, but when you wear tight jeans and a top falling off your shoulder, you are just saying..."come f@@@ me").

These young women were raising money for an unfunded program. They were hot and were having fun. Almost every weekend you drive down YV road and see girls in a bikini top working at a car wash raising money for choir, soccer, band, sports, etc. But it is wrong for the Cheerleaders to do the same? Seems like the stereotype of cheerleaders will never go away.

Before you start labeling these kids, maybe you should actually talk to one. They are hard working kids who like to have fun. Many are smart kids with bright futures ahead of them. Only thing they are guilty of is being in shape, working hard and enjoying their youth. Stop being so darn judgmental and allow these kids to have fun.

Anonymous said...

It's great that Northgate Leadership is weighing in on the situation but I'd rather they focus on retaining teachers, monitoring the classroom environments and keeping sports alive (without expecting parents of scholar-athletes to provide the funding). Car washes have been in existence since I was a student and I don't recall wearing jeans and sweatshirts when I participated in them...especially when it is 90+ degrees outside. The guys that are offended either need to better handle their latent yearnings or save their puritan beliefs for their own living room. The gals that are offended either need to jump on a stairmaster for an hour a day (and put away that jelly donut) or simply look inward for inner peace...or (light bulb) I've got it - look away. Note: I've seen plenty of skanks walking down the street fully clothed. These young ladies are smart enough to live their lives...if the bed they make gets a little goofy, they'll still have to sleep in it. How about us parents do a good job when they are young and let them be accountable for their actions as they get older...that's how the real world is.

Anonymous said...

...from a business perspective: The goal of a car wash is to make money - if the girls in smaller outfits make more money than the down-wearing group at the gas station across the street then they are running a smarter business and would be more likely to secure outside funding.

Anonymous said...

I love that 9/10 6:32 AM thinks that Victoria Beckham is writing this blog.

some people are just plain rude.. said...

are you serious? it was a 100 degrees out and your mad that they were in a bikini? did you want them to be in a sweat suit? how would you like being out in the hot sun washing cars for 6 hours, yeah you would take your shirt off too. NONE of the girl's butts and boobs were hanging out so get your facts right miss "preofessional journalist". they were jumping and dancing because they are CHEERleaders and they were showing off SPIRIT!! duhhh. use your brains people! some of the girls even had their shirts on. people are only saying bad things about them because of the sterotype cheerleaders have. in real life about none of them act like they are rumormed to be about. and as a matter of fact there were even some dads working, wouldnt you think they would have said something if it was bad? do ANY of you guys know at least one of the cheerleaders? huh? no.. well then maybe you shouldnt judge. i expect this from jealous teenage girls. you guys are supposed to be adults right? why dont you act like one.

REALLY!?! said...

Wow! So much else to discuss of greater importance yet for journalistic kudos and an ever easy fish hook for readers Soccer Mom chose to attack local Cheerleaders. You must be so proud of yourself for bashing girls who in the heat of the summer sun washed cars for 6 hours to raise funds for a costly self funded activity that has been intrinsic with athletics and school spirit for decades. At NO time did they ever show their bottoms and they wore bikini tops that provided full breast coverage. Perhaps the next carwash they should be wearing the 1920’s full body suit for your approval should they? And the post about the bikini in 1957; please!!! We couldn’t have a black President in that decade either!
Are you going to track down these same girls at a PUBLIC water park or beach where they would likely be wearing just their swim suit and tell them to cover up there too? Carwash= Water=Bathing suits
Yet they did have an appropriate compromise and ALL wore shorts over their bottoms while half chose to keep their over shirts on and the rest avoided the farmer tan on top!
Ever heard, “Those in glass houses should not throw stones”? How about “He who is without sin cast the first stone”?
Ah, and yes I have yet to hear your comments about the Speedo boys. Any verbal vomit there??

Anonymous said...

Hey Really,

You are a big douchebag. You should probably have your parenting license taken away.

REALLY!?! said...

Clearly intelligent responses are not a forte for Anonymous (September 11, 2009 10:12 PM). Try reading it over again and note the repudiating points before your respond. As I shared with Mister Writer; “You know darn well you are stretching the truth about the three on the corner and sensibility escapes you. However, it is acknowledged within the team that future car washes will be sure to keep a more strict watch of those not within immediate presence, i.e.; the behavior and attire of the girls across the street who will be fully clothed so as not to offend anyone. That was and is not the intention and a simple connection with the Advisor would have been enough to get that validated. Choosing to blog in such a way to permeate the entire carwash as a slut run operation was over the top and tipping the scales of slander, and I am NOT alone in disagreement. That is my point!"

Anonymous said...

Hey Really,

Here is a little Shakespeare quote for that applies to you posting on these boards,

"Me thinks she doth protest too much"

Why are you being so defensive? Feeling a little guilty about pimping out your daughter maybe?

REALLY!?! said...

Small minded slanderous blogging about anything even remotely affiliated with my daughter, of which I was present to witness beckons a repudiating comment. My supervision of my daughter being fully clothed was witnessed by many the entire day. Someone’s ignorant response, who already read that in my previous comments on Mister Writer, is not of large concern. However, that is her Team! And I am one of more than a few who find these exaggerations callously inappropriate.

Anonymous said...

Hey Really,

Exactly how many is "one of more than a few"?

I bet your just being an overly-protective parent now that your daughter and her cheer friends are being called out for their inappropriate behaviour.

I just have to ask, where was this protective behaivour when the cheer coach was pimping them out for dollars?

REALLY!?! said...

It is no secret that I am not the first to post a disagreement with this blogs statements about the carwash.

And I grow tired of your moronic replies. Even Mister Writer re-stated to clarify he was ONLY talking about the girls “up the street”, but unfortunately he wrote it in a way that was exaggerated and condemned the entire team.

I was with my daughter where she was washing cars. Alas reason will not penetrate your obtuse mind and you choose to retort grouping in my daughter personally who was at no time ever across the street. My point has been made and adjustments for future events have been noted to ensure the entire team does not bear the brunt of a few. Continuing to converse with you further now would be Absurdity!

Soccer Mom said...

Readers, including Nicole Carvalho and Really:
Thanks Nicole, especially, for writing in and offering your side of things. And Really, you, too.
I also read through the comments on Mister Writer's site.

It sounds like, as usual, there were a few participants in the car wash who were dressed or behaved in a way that crossed some kind of line and got this fundraising effort some unwelcome attention.

That's too bad, but it sounds like that's what happened. Nicole and Really, you describe one scenario, and I don't doubt your version of events. Mr. Writer, and other readers and friends who emailed me saw something else that, to them, crossed the line. I don't doubt their version either.

I guess it's like that line from a U.S. Supreme Court justice about the definition of obscenity. (And if someone wants to dig up the quote, please do). You know it when you see it.

And some people saw something that to them, well, crossed into the realm of inappropriate and obscene. That there has been discussion among the group and in the school about this issue shows some awareness on the part of some that, yes, things got a bit out of hand.

And, as I wrote in another thread, I think this incident touches on bigger issues, beyond the behavior or dress of a few at a car wash fundraiser.

It gets into our attitudes about sex and sexuality, particularly among teen girls and young women. How we view girls, whether it's fair that we view them in certain ways. Double standards. Adults projecting their own sexual ideas onto girls who were just behaving naturally and innocently, who, in the words of one person who commented were just trying to keep cool and comfortable on a hot day.

Soccer Mom said...

Regarding the Victoria Beckham photo:
It's irony folks.

Alice said...

Well, when the girls are dressing in a group setting like that they're probably feeling the pressure from other girls to dress that way, not boys
in my high school experience girls dressed provocatively to impress their girl friends, as in "look what I've got and you don't!" or "I can be just as outgoing as you!"
The boys would hang around either way, they're more interested whose got the best body underneath regardless of whose showing it off.
prettybabydoll.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

You guys need to get off your Puritan high horse. Puhleeze, they are high school girls not grade school. Do you NOT remember High School? Wait, oh I see you do! That must be why you are so uncomfortable with it all. Trust your kids, it's insulting to assume they can't handle themselves. They know more about safe sex, how to say No and can spot a creeper much quicker than you could when you were their age... it's a sign of the times.

Anonymous said...

c'mon, a group of pretty little high school girls dressed in bikinis and showing off their tight hard little bodies is a sweet thing. admire their tight little bodies and get the car wash. there is some smoking hot high school girls out there, nothing wrong at all with admiring their tight little bodies, tight butts and hot crotches at a car wash. you a man or what?

Anonymous said...

As a former Northgate High school cheerleader ( no I was not at this car wash b/c I graduted in June of 2009) this is offending to me b/c I do know many of the girls who were on the team when this was blogged & I participated in these car washes in the past.. I wore a bikini top and shorts when I did these car washes too..

This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen.. Next time you go to a beach I hope to yell at every single girl you see because you know damn well they will all be in bikinis and shorts.


Welcome to the 21st century ladies and gentlemen..

Girls wear bikinis, get over it & stop writing stupid judgemental comments all over a blog like a 13 year old would have done on Myspace..

There are bigger things to worry about than a Walnut Creek car wash. These girls did nothing wrong & yes it is extremly hot doing those car washes for hours on end.